A Brief Summary Of A Life:
This schmuck was born in the wilds of Western Massachusetts, where he broke his body playing sports and watched as many cartoons as he could between getting home from school and when his parents got home from work. At night he would stay up late obsessing over potent quotables, movie quotes, comedy quotes, writerly quotes, and then eventually would settle into some porn. These cartoons and comedians and clever writers helped shape his comedic sensibilities.
Today he still stays up far too late, but now he's usually drunk or high.
Maybe we were supposed to give bees a chance, not peace. Also maybe I've been stockpiling loads of bees I bought off Amazon and they're mad.
I've started twittering at midnight PST and I'm starting to get the impression this my natural, vampircal time, drunk, semi lucid.
Sometimes I'll think I have it all figured out and then the next day I'll remember I share my bed with all my unfolded laundry.